What Are the 5 Stages of Grief?

Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance—these are words many people immediately connect with grief. If you’re reading this, there’s a good chance you’ve heard them before or even wondered where you fit within them.

These stages were introduced by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross in her groundbreaking book On Death and Dying, which helped give language and visibility to the emotional experiences of those facing the end of life (Kübler-Ross, 1969).

Even with this shared understanding, grief is still something many people find difficult to talk about.

However, it’s important to recognize that Kübler-Ross’s work was centered on the psychological experiences of individuals who were terminally ill—not those grieving the loss of a loved one. Over time, these stages were generalized to bereavement, often creating an unintended expectation that grief should follow a predictable, linear path.

How Long Does the Grief Last?

At Tillery Compassionate Care, we have the privilege of walking alongside individuals and families during some of life’s most tender and meaningful moments. In hospice and bereavement care, we know that grief does not unfold in neat stages. It can be messy, confusing, unpredictable and just frustrating. 

Grief is not linear. It does not follow a timeline, and it does not have a clear endpoint. Many of the individuals and families we serve find themselves wondering if they are grieving “the right way” when their experience doesn’t align with a stage-based model. I am often asked “Is this normal?”

The truth is—there is no right way, no normal way, there is YOUR way and sometimes finding your way can be difficult. 

What Are Tasks of Mourning?

Current grief research and clinical practice have moved toward more flexible, compassionate frameworks that better reflect the lived experience of loss. One of the most widely used models in hospice care is J. William Worden’s Tasks of Mourning, which offers a more individualized and realistic approach to grief (Worden, 2009).

Rather than stages to complete, Worden describes grief as a series of tasks that individuals may move through, revisit, and experience in their own time:

• Accepting the reality of the loss

This often happens slowly. It can show up in small, everyday moments—like reaching for your phone to call them, or expecting to hear their voice.

• Processing the pain of grief

Grief isn’t something you have to push away or fix. It’s something that deserves space. However it shows up for you—it’s okay.

• Adjusting to a world without your loved one

This can be one of the hardest parts. Life looks different now, and so do you. It takes time to find your footing again. A big question that comes up for many navigating grief is “who am I now?”

• Finding an enduring connection with your loved one while moving forward

Moving forward doesn’t mean leaving your loved one behind. It can mean carrying them with you—through memories, traditions, and the love that’s still very much there.

Moving Beyond the “Stages”: A More Compassionate Understanding of Grief in Hospice Care

At Tillery Compassionate Care, we don’t believe grief is something to fix. We believe it’s something to be supported through—with care, compassion, and presence.

If you’re reading this and feel stuck in your grief, we want you to know that you are not alone. Feeling stuck doesn’t mean you’re failing—it often means your heart is holding something heavy that needs care and support.

Reaching out can feel hard, but it can also bring a sense of relief—having someone listen, understand, and simply sit with you in what you’re feeling.

Our bereavement team is here for you. Whether you need someone to talk to, guidance, or just a place where your grief is met with kindness, we are honored to walk alongside you.

At Tillery Compassionate Care, we are here—for every step, every feeling, every memory, each story and every moment that matters.

Sources:
Kübler-Ross, E. (1969). On death and dying. Macmillan. 

Worden, J. W. (2009). Grief counseling and grief therapy: A handbook for the mental health practitioner (4th ed.). Springer Publishing Company.